Ambiguous

Pack Up And Go

Do you ever wake up in the morning with a strong desire to start anew in a different place? That urge to pack a bag and buy a one-way ticket to a new city? If you answered “yes” then why don’t you? If you have the resources to do so and there is nothing truly stopping you (I’m talking about all those little excuses people say to stop themselves) then buy that one-way ticket. Wherever you go next in your life I am sure you will be happier. Obviously there’s more to happiness than location but it serves as a setting in your happiness. It’s where you live, where you work, it’s your home basically your city surroundings are a foundation that take part in a lot of your happiness. If you ever feel unhappy or underwhelmed or even confused maybe it’s time to pack up and go somewhere new. It could be as simple as booking a flight or packing up your car and leaving. What if all you needed to clear your head is to play your life out some where new. Perhaps meeting new people, exploring a new place, investing yourself in a new city is what brings your life the boost it needs.

Especially right now as millennials and twenty-somethings we are dreamers with goals but are we’re struggling. Don’t worry elders we understand that we have to start at the bottom of the work hierarchy. We’re not stupid. We just didn’t think it was going to be this difficult after graduation. Some of us work a salary job on top of hourly paid jobs to pay off loans, rent and other grown up bills. Some might say it’s irresponsible to want to move somewhere else regardless if we have a well paying job or not. Poo poo on those naysayers because if you think it’ll benefit you more than where you are right now I say go for it. Instead of continuing to say “I wanna move there” “I’ll do it eventually” start making it your reality and make steps towards your big move.

Sometimes you have to get in that car or plane or train and just go. Don’t live your life out in a place where you know you don’t belong. That’s the worst.

Comparison Will Kill You

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We may all appear to be at similar places in our lives but we’re not. Do your own thing. Just because you’re getting older it shouldn’t stop you from wanting to do things. For instance, I am looking at going back to school. Not for a MBA but for another BA/BS in Accounting. It has been worrying me that I’ll be 30-32 years old by the time I graduate with a degree and I could have been traveling or move to a new city and even save money. School is not cheap and I will be paying for it myself. A friend told me that I still have plenty of time and to not worry. “People need to stop comparing themselves to each other. Just because other people are moving and getting promoted in their careers it doesn’t make you any less important. Just do you. And besides if you’re comparing yourself to them it means they are comparing themselves to you.”

Love/Relationships (Thoughts and Ramblings)

“One of the most important milestones I ever reached in my life was accepting that people won’t always love you the way you want them to” – Beau Taplin

The first time I said “I love you” was over an awkward text message. Generally, this is done face to face but I’ve never been good with timing and I tend to word vomit in these types of situations. I kept replaying Rebel Wilson’s line in Pitch Perfect on my head after I said it.

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I meant it as a friend and a lover. The lover part is gone but the love as a friend is still there.

“You can love a person without wanting to be with them. Just like you can want to be with someone before you love them” – Thomas Maddox

I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship yet. I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I mean like I should probably date to get out of my comfort zone. I’m so used to doing things without having to worry about someone else’s feelings.

We always joked that one day you would swim away and never come back and you just laughed and said if only.

It’s important to know the difference between sacrifice and settling.

Sometimes we need things from people that they can’t give us. That doesn’t make us worse for needing them or worse for not giving.

I’ve always gone with the go for it tactic. Whether it ends bad or good it was an experience. It’s like diving into the ocean blindfolded. You can prepared as much as you want for the reactions to situations or the future but ultimately it’s out of your hands.

Life

Don’t base your happiness off of circumstances. You don’t need everything to be going your way in order for you to be happy. I am happiest outside. Whether it’s in the mountains or sitting by the ocean. It’s where I know myself best.

Know that happiness is not a destination. It’s a mood. It comes and goes and that’s okay. That means we can find happiness more often in the little things life has to offer.

I’m trying new things. I’m putting my dance background to use and I hope I don’t fall on my head.

Be present in every moment.

Every time I fill out a college application I think “why the F am I doing this?” Applications for anything are the worst.

“I think you’ve really got to wait and see how things play out. Sometimes a decision you might consider a regret or failure in the present can turn out to be the catalyst for something extraordinary in the end. Some of life’s wildest journeys begin with a wrong turn” – Beau Taplin

To be continued… 

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Reality and Realizing Dreams

I think we all get lost or stuck at some point in our lives. We get in a rut. It’s a lonely feeling even though there are others in the same situation. Currently, I feel lost. I’m antsy and eager to get up and go somewhere. Anywhere. It’s a mixture of emotions almost feeling complacent. I fortunately have two great jobs that are helping me tremendously with money and experience. But it’s difficult to just let go of “plans.”

Whether we admit it or not we all had plans or dreams of what we thought college was going to be like after graduation. I can’t speak for those who have graduated years before me but graduating in a crappy economy is not exactly what we hoped for. We were taught in school that a degree equals a job/career. The inspirational climax of graduation day seems deflated over the fact that we get jobs to pay the bills by force. Yes, I understand we need to pay our dues but it’s not ideal to work multiple jobs and still struggle to pay bills or pay off loans. It’s very unsettling.

“There is no certainty in life and when there’s no certainty anything is possible.”

I always send my friends good vibes. I am so lucky to work at that jobs that I do. My friends often remind me that I am working at companies that allow me to use the skills we learned in school. I hope the lessons taught in school are still in my brain. It’s been a year and so many months of being out of college. My brain is no longer trained to study text books. It is being rewired to process daily tasks at my two jobs. I don’t want to come off as ungrateful because I know I am spoiled. But it’s difficult to let go of things that I want to do.

The other day, my friend and I talked for hours on the  phone about feeling lost. We’re both in ruts. During our back and forth discussion, one of the things she said to me that truly stuck was “as much as we want the best of both worlds it’s not going to happen. It’s not realistic.”  We want to have our dream job but we also want to live in a great city with friends. “Basically, you choose between the two. Getting your dream job vs. living in the place you want to live. You can’t have both. There is a small number of lucky people in this world that get everything they want (working hard, of course) but then there are the rest where we work our butts off just to get by.”

That advice she gave me was actually from one of her friend’s who took a class in college to prepare her for post graduation. I wish there was a class like that at UH. After doing a handful of internships and working part time jobs to now working two salary jobs it has put things in perspective. I am still young. We’re still young. I change my mind every other week of what I want to do with my life. I know I want to work in non-profits but who knows what the position will be. There are all these goals and bucket lists of things I want do and see.

I feel frustrated with myself for not taking time to enjoy post-graduation. I was so focused on finding a job to make money and start paying back loans and being independent. I don’t regret the choices I have made so far because I am learning more about life that I need to learn right now. It just sucks to have to put aside the other part of life that everyone longs for, freedom. It’s not the end of the world though. I am a woman of my word and I have goals that I can’t shake. They are inching further and further away but rest assured I will reach them.