Ambiguous

Pack Up And Go

Do you ever wake up in the morning with a strong desire to start anew in a different place? That urge to pack a bag and buy a one-way ticket to a new city? If you answered “yes” then why don’t you? If you have the resources to do so and there is nothing truly stopping you (I’m talking about all those little excuses people say to stop themselves) then buy that one-way ticket. Wherever you go next in your life I am sure you will be happier. Obviously there’s more to happiness than location but it serves as a setting in your happiness. It’s where you live, where you work, it’s your home basically your city surroundings are a foundation that take part in a lot of your happiness. If you ever feel unhappy or underwhelmed or even confused maybe it’s time to pack up and go somewhere new. It could be as simple as booking a flight or packing up your car and leaving. What if all you needed to clear your head is to play your life out some where new. Perhaps meeting new people, exploring a new place, investing yourself in a new city is what brings your life the boost it needs.

Especially right now as millennials and twenty-somethings we are dreamers with goals but are we’re struggling. Don’t worry elders we understand that we have to start at the bottom of the work hierarchy. We’re not stupid. We just didn’t think it was going to be this difficult after graduation. Some of us work a salary job on top of hourly paid jobs to pay off loans, rent and other grown up bills. Some might say it’s irresponsible to want to move somewhere else regardless if we have a well paying job or not. Poo poo on those naysayers because if you think it’ll benefit you more than where you are right now I say go for it. Instead of continuing to say “I wanna move there” “I’ll do it eventually” start making it your reality and make steps towards your big move.

Sometimes you have to get in that car or plane or train and just go. Don’t live your life out in a place where you know you don’t belong. That’s the worst.

Comparison Will Kill You

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We may all appear to be at similar places in our lives but we’re not. Do your own thing. Just because you’re getting older it shouldn’t stop you from wanting to do things. For instance, I am looking at going back to school. Not for a MBA but for another BA/BS in Accounting. It has been worrying me that I’ll be 30-32 years old by the time I graduate with a degree and I could have been traveling or move to a new city and even save money. School is not cheap and I will be paying for it myself. A friend told me that I still have plenty of time and to not worry. “People need to stop comparing themselves to each other. Just because other people are moving and getting promoted in their careers it doesn’t make you any less important. Just do you. And besides if you’re comparing yourself to them it means they are comparing themselves to you.”

Love/Relationships (Thoughts and Ramblings)

“One of the most important milestones I ever reached in my life was accepting that people won’t always love you the way you want them to” – Beau Taplin

The first time I said “I love you” was over an awkward text message. Generally, this is done face to face but I’ve never been good with timing and I tend to word vomit in these types of situations. I kept replaying Rebel Wilson’s line in Pitch Perfect on my head after I said it.

image

I meant it as a friend and a lover. The lover part is gone but the love as a friend is still there.

“You can love a person without wanting to be with them. Just like you can want to be with someone before you love them” – Thomas Maddox

I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship yet. I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I mean like I should probably date to get out of my comfort zone. I’m so used to doing things without having to worry about someone else’s feelings.

We always joked that one day you would swim away and never come back and you just laughed and said if only.

It’s important to know the difference between sacrifice and settling.

Sometimes we need things from people that they can’t give us. That doesn’t make us worse for needing them or worse for not giving.

I’ve always gone with the go for it tactic. Whether it ends bad or good it was an experience. It’s like diving into the ocean blindfolded. You can prepared as much as you want for the reactions to situations or the future but ultimately it’s out of your hands.

Life

Don’t base your happiness off of circumstances. You don’t need everything to be going your way in order for you to be happy. I am happiest outside. Whether it’s in the mountains or sitting by the ocean. It’s where I know myself best.

Know that happiness is not a destination. It’s a mood. It comes and goes and that’s okay. That means we can find happiness more often in the little things life has to offer.

I’m trying new things. I’m putting my dance background to use and I hope I don’t fall on my head.

Be present in every moment.

Every time I fill out a college application I think “why the F am I doing this?” Applications for anything are the worst.

“I think you’ve really got to wait and see how things play out. Sometimes a decision you might consider a regret or failure in the present can turn out to be the catalyst for something extraordinary in the end. Some of life’s wildest journeys begin with a wrong turn” – Beau Taplin

To be continued… 

Advertisements

Get Your Sh*t Together

It has been almost a year or shorter that I have posted something. Sorry! It is true what people say about blogging that it requires so much dedication and I have neglected my poor blog. Bad blogger.

image1

On another note, it’s my birthday tomorrow. I don’t ever really celebrate my birthday. Turning 21 was supposed to be the biggest party introduction to being an “adult” but I had finals that day so my intro to adulthood was more like a “oh hey, you did it. You can drink.” But anyway, I’m turning 26 tomorrow! I’m not one to particularly freak out in getting older however, the past month hit me hard that turning 26 is the actual initiation to adulthood (thanks to the President. No offense Obama).

Once you turn 26 it is no longer “cute” to live off of your parents. Loads of people still live with their parents or had to move into their parents houses due to the economy but it’s not like you want to brag about it. It doesn’t even have to deal with living with your parents, it also includes the financial stability that parents provide their children. But once you’re 26, it’s kind of expected that you should have a job to pay your bills, your expenses, your fun etc. My younger brother has yet to realize this. I just want to pull a Willy Wonka on him:

willy

But that’s beside the point. I think over this past year I have hear “get my sh*t together” and “welcome to adulthood. It sucks.” It’s honestly exhausting to hear those phrases. When is one supposed to have their sh*t together? Is it at 26? When I had to the lovely task of buying my health insurance I heard the “adulthood sucks” so much that it literally made me depressed for the entire week. I sat at my desk and sulked and spoke to no one. I can understand where being a certain age and being on your parents insurance is a big no no but dang when you’re poor and yes, believe me I know there are legit poor people but I could also end up homeless (it’s an exaggerated but fairly real reality). Anyway, health insurance, it’s expensive but I guess if you want to live it’s good to have. Reading each type of insurance I felt so dumb. The terminology was like a foreign language and used every resource I had to try and understand what it all meant. I still don’t know what any of it means. I do know I pay a fairly high fee each month.

The lifestyle I used to live has been altered slightly to accommodate this new bill. I still buy healthy foods but to be fair almost every grocery store in Colorado is a health food store and luckily local is affordable. I barely go out and it’s not because I don’t have a lot of friends in CO but going out is expensive. My weekends consist of going outside or lounging with my dog. My apartment has its own gym however, that doesn’t mean it’s “free” because it is added on to my apartment community utilities. I guess it’s cheaper-ish than the gym I used to go to.

I met up with a friend after work last week who I hadn’t seen in 3 years. We talked about friends who are coupled up now and which ones will probably get engaged first and dating. I don’t really date because in all honesty I’m broke and don’t bring much to the table other than I wouldn’t be able to pay for dating things here and there. Even the dateable guys I feel like would be in the same boat as me or any other broke 20-something. Perhaps that is why there are multiple articles on 20-somethings being the hook-up generation which I believe because my neighbor upstairs has outrageously loud coitus. It has been quite the 3 weeks with that one upstairs.

I think some of my friends believe I have my sh*t together. Maybe I’m a good actress because my subconscious is very confused. Am I doing it right? I try not to compare myself to others who are around my age but in a different place in their lives. It’s difficult not to though. Do people ever get their sh*t together? Everyone has disruptions in their lives that can cause their plans to go off course. In 4 years I’ll be 30 years old. Holy sh*t. That’s a nauseating idea because I doubt in that short amount of years I won’t be any closer to getting my sh*t and organizing it.

Each year, it’s like an additional number in age and additional responsibilities. But being dumped on with more responsibilities is a never ending check list. Once you have crossed off the last thing life is like haha just kidding! Life is such a tease to our subconscious.  Maybe as we get older we learn a little more how to handle our sh*t in a more responsible manner. One can only hope.

I don’t know what to expect for the upcoming year. I mean, I’ll be 26 years old and still look like I’m in high school. A curse and a blessing at the same time. Cheers to forever being carded!

(I felt Hoodie Allen: Act My Age was appropriate plus I love this song and video)